


till the sun dies

by Beb



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Good Loki (Marvel), Heavy Angst, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Hurt Thor (Marvel), Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Protective Thor (Marvel), Recovery, Thor (Marvel) Being an Idiot, Violence, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:14:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29104656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beb/pseuds/Beb
Summary: In which Thor and Loki found themselves on Vormir.The thing about Vormir was that it required a great sacrifice of a loved one.
Relationships: Loki & Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 77





	till the sun dies

Death was the one word to describe the planet. The second Loki stepped out of the ship he was hit in the face by that strong nausea of something... unholy. Something that sent shivers down his spine, and he already wished he was leaving, leaving this place behind and never looking back. But this was necessary. To stop Thanos they'd have to take the ownership of the Soul Stone, there was no other way.

He looked around, taking in his surroundings. The landscape was grey with no trees nor any sign of life. The skies were orange, almost red, like the one you would see before the apocalypse happened. The air, toxic and cold, filled with ashes as wind whooshing, howling, piercing through his ears as though someone was weeping agonizingly. No, Loki didn't like it here. But he shoved all those bad vibes away, and moved his gaze toward his brother. Thor was entering his twentieth step into the place while Loki still lingered only one step ahead of the ship. Figuring he wouldn't want to be left behind, The God of Mischief quickened his pace till he caught up with Thor.

"Where do we start looking? We can't possibly search through every inch of this shithole, you know that, right? Or perhaps we could, it'd just take forever and by the time we found it, Thanos might already wiped out half the galaxy-"

"Shhhh," Thor cut him off. Loki always talked too much and Thor always made sure he knew it, but this time it was different, this time it wasn't just Loki being noisy and annoying. (or maybe Loki never meant to be annoying, maybe he just wished he and his brother could be like they used to be when they were children and Thor wasn't distancing himself from Loki so much, maybe. Just maybe. Not that Thor had the slightest idea his little brother wanted them to be brothers again, anyway)

Anyway, Loki followed Thor's eyes until it landed on a shadowy figure of a man, in some sort of a black trench coat, whose face was hidden, standing in front of them. No, wait... as Loki narrowed his eyes to take a better look, he realised the man's face (if whatever-being-this-was could be called a man) wasn't hidden, the... entity simply had no face; just a red skull with hollow eyes staring terrifyingly at them.

Loki, who was standing one step behind Thor, almost winced at the sudden urge to grab his brother's elbow and hide behind him. If this was the old days when they were little, there was no doubt Loki would have sought Thor's protection by now. How weak. How embarrassing, the Trickster thought bitterly, hating himself for feeling a little intimidated by the thing in front of him. He wasn't a child anymore. He'd been through countless amount of battles. Yet for some reason he got spooked by this creature with no face? Thor would be so disappointed, if he were to find out. The thoughts made Loki's eyes drop to the ground.

"Welcome, Thor, son of Odin," said the entity before his head turned to Loki's direction. Loki could feel his hollow eyes burning hole through his soul, and had to look up to face him, the creature said, as an acknowledgement, "Loki, son of Laufey, you may call me Red Skull"

Loki was taken aback, at least a little, he'd almost forgotten the last time someone addressed him as such. Then he forced himself to pretend to ignore it; they were just noises coming from a man with no face after all, Loki told himself despite how unconvincing his own voice sounded. Was Thor offended? Loki unconsciously glanced at his brother, and saw Thor's hands clenched into fists, just for a second before it loosened.

"You know us?" Thor asked, he didn't mention anything about this Red Skull calling his brother son of Laufey, not Odin. Being a son of Laufey meant Loki wasn't Thor's brother, but Thor didn't argue about that. Was Thor okay with Loki not being his brother? Loki wanted to say something, but he didn't know what to say, didn't know if he'd make himself look like a fool by saying something so childish. So he said nothing.

"It is my curse to know all who journey here," The Red Skull responded.

"Then you must know we've come here for the possession of the Soul Stone. Give it to us, and we will be on our way." Thor's voice strong and confident. It was something Loki always admired about his brother, his brother who never feared anyone or anything.

Since Loki was a kid he admired everything Thor did, however, as they grew up it was getting harder for Loki to confess such thing. He learned to keep how he admired his brother to himself, and show only jealousy. That's why so many people (perhaps Thor was included) resented Loki so much.

There was silence from Red Skull's side for quite a moment (and when no one was speaking the entire planet really looked like it was dead) before he said, "you should know... it extracts a terrible price,"

"I am prepared." Thor said.

"We all think that at first. We are all wrong." There was something about it, something in Red Skull's voice and his lack-of-flesh face that felt... wrong. Loki couldn't explain how, but it felt wrong. So wrong. He wanted to ask for a private moment to speak with Thor, but the second he opened his mouth Thor already shushed him again.

"I got this," Thor mouthed to Loki before his eyes returned to Red Skull without waiting for what Loki had to say. Thor always got everything under control. He knew what he was doing. There was no reason for him to listen to Loki, especially when all Loki did was fuck things up. So Loki stayed obediently quiet.

To Red Skull he said, "No matter how high the price is, I'm willing to pay."

Red Skull just nodded slightly before turning around and start walking without another word. Both Thor and Loki got the hint, and began following the creature to wherever he'd lead.

"Are you sure about this?" Finally Loki asked, half whispering to Thor.

"I am."

"But you heard him, the price."

"What choice do we have?" was Thor's answer, he didn't even turn to look at Loki.

"Maybe we could-"

Loki didn't get to finish the sentence when Thor quickly turned to face him, cutting him off with his harsh voice, "I don't care what price I'll have to pay. I am not leaving without that Stone and I am taking down Thanos. Whatever it takes." After a brief pause he said, "I did not expect you to get cool feet like this. I expected more of you, Loki."

Loki flinched. Thor was right; not only that Loki was being useless he was also being a coward. He disappointed Thor. Again and again. He sighed. Thor was already walking far ahead of him and he was falling behind. So he just quickened his steps.

The rest of the journey was spent in silence.

Eventually Red Skull came to a stop at the edge of a very high cliff where laid below: nothing but death. Loki didn't have acrophobia, but just by standing there, even in safe distance, with chilling wind blowing through him, Loki could already feel his stomach twisting. There was no sign of the Stone anywhere. Why would Red Skull stop?

"Where is it?" Thor asked.

"It lies in front of you." Said the creature.

"I don't understand."

"The prices and the worst fear of yours, Odinson. To ensure that whoever processes it understands its power, the Stone demands a sacrifice."

"Of what?"

"In order to take the Stone, you must lost that which you love. A soul.... for a soul." Red Skull's voice sounded cold.

Thor felt sick all of a sudden. Suddenly he felt as though he was going to faint.

Anything. Anything but not this. Thor could give up anything, but not... this.

He should have known.

Loki fell unnervingly silent, but then again he had always been wordless, to comply Thor's command. Thor slowly turned back till he was looking at Loki, and when their eyes met the God of Thunder saw the little raven-haired boy who would follow his every lead, be there whenever he called, and seek his protection every time he had nightmare. It was the same Loki who stood here in front of him, but a lot younger. So young. So innocent. It was the Loki whom Odin and Frigga introduced to him as his little brother a thousand years ago. Then Thor realised; no matter how much older he got, they got, Loki would always be that little boy whom Thor promised to look after, and Thor would always be that big brother whom Loki counted on.

Since when did their bond end?

"Loki, I...." For once, Thor was speechless.

For the first time in what felt like eternity, Loki was smiling at him. It was soft and it was a sad smile, but it was still a smile. Sincere and full of love just like the smile he flashed him years ago, before all of these happened.

"It's okay," Loki said. Thor noticed the crack in his voice, but somehow, hearing Loki said that made him believe it really was okay when in fact it wasn't.

"I wish I wasn't so hard on you, brother." Thor said. What use of an attempt to make things better when one of them was going to die in a few minutes?

"I wish I was a better brother." Loki said, and Thor felt like he got slapped across the face. Thor never said it, Loki might not be the ideal brother in other people's eyes, but he was Thor's brother and Thor wouldn't want to change what they had for the world. If he could turn back time, he wouldn't change a single thing between the two of them, wouldn't ask for a different brother.

"You are you," Thor said, smiling softly, "that's enough."

Is it though? Loki wanted to ask. He knew he let Thor down multiple times, caused him a lot of troubles. Yet Thor never gave up on him. He wanted to be better. He did try. He was trying, but it seemed a good little brother wasn't something Loki could be.

Loki let out a wry laugh before saying, "whatever it takes, right?"

Thor gulped. He was at a loss for words. His own words he said just minutes ago now coming back at him. Thor looked away, for the first time he couldn't hold eye contact, "Thanos must be defeated." Said Thor. Though he sounded defeated already.

"Thanos must be defeated." Loki repeated after his brother, nodding slightly. His voice unreadable. Thor was right; they didn't have a choice. "Do you believe in the afterlife?" Loki asked, the question made Thor look at him again, the younger brother knew he was talking too much again, but he couldn't stop himself when he was so overwhelmed, "Mother used to tell us when he were children, stories of Valhalla and Hel."

"I remember," Thor said, his throat felt dry and his chest felt tight. His palms were sweaty.

"Perhaps we will meet again." Loki said, his expression was blank, like he had already accepted it. Loki already accepted it... maybe Thor should, too.

"We will meet again." Thor imitated Loki. The thing was Thor didn't even know what he was saying, what they were talking about at this point. He was so numb. Before he knew it Loki already walked over till he was standing right in front of Thor, the spaces between them only a few inches apart, and Thor unconsciously reached out to place a hand on the side of Loki's neck. Norns, this felt like the many times they did this to comfort each other in the past. Maybe Thor was numb enough to believe this time was like the other where none of them was going to jump off that cliff and die.

Loki closed his eyes, savouring the feeling of Thor's hand against his cold skin. It was comforting, despite everything Thor still managed to comfort him the way no one else could. "I'm going to miss you." The words left Loki's mouth without him realising he was saying it.

"Me too, brother, me too." Thor spoke gently, though his voice started cracking so badly. "I will give your love to mother and father when I reach the gate. We will watch over you."

With that Loki opened his eyes, his brows furrowed. That wasn't what he was expecting.

It wasn't supposed to be Thor.

Even without any words from Loki Thor could see it on his face and know what his little brother was thinking; Loki didn't expect Thor to be the one to jump, just like Thor didn't expect Loki to be the one to jump.

Before Thor could prepare himself hot pain shot up his spine when Loki stabbed him with a dagger and freed himself. It wasn't life-threatening, but it was so instant and unexpectedly and the pain was real that Thor doubled over.

"No!" With both hands pressed against his abdomen Thor cried when he saw Loki was running toward the cliff - closer and closer.

The Thunder God gritted his teeth, shoved all the pain aside and jumped on his feet. Loki only made it to the very edge, never crossed the line, when strong arms wrapped around him from behind, pulling him back towards safety.

Of course Loki was protesting, fighting and squirming with all his force, but Thor was stronger. Thor threw him, not gently, to the ground, and looked at him for only a second (so he could take in every single detail of his brother, remember it with all his heart so even when he died he wouldn't forget) before leaping out the edge.

Loki's ability was not to be underestimated. He was fast. A lot faster than Thor thought, that Thor had to admit. Thor did jump, yet the gravity never took him. Loki grabbed him, throwing him backward and before he knew it he was the one laying on the ground instead.

When Thor looked up, however, horror washed over his face when he saw Loki standing there, looking down at him, at the very edge, just one more step and he'd fall. There was fear on Loki's face, but it was overpowered by the confidence and determination in his eyes. His mind was made up.

"I will tell father and mother you love them." Loki said and he turned around.

Thor knew he had to do something and he had to do it now. Without thinking he summoned Stormbreaker and had the weapon slammed right down on one of Loki's knees before Loki could take one more step further. The raw pain squeezed a scream from his throat as he fell to the ground. Though Loki did try to crawl toward the edge his body was being dragged backward by his brother. All these blood gushing out of his wound wasn't promising. His leg didn't get cut in half, but it was nasty and it was obvious he wasn't going to be able to stand any time soon.

He kept screaming, kept fighting and kicking, but it was clear now who won. Thor let go of him once he was in a safe distance, away from the edge. He cupped Loki's face with both hands, looking him straight in the eyes, he could see tears accumulating in Loki''s eyes, threatening to fall.

"You - you can't do this," Loki said through gritted teeth, he was shaking and Thor didn't know whether it was from the pain caused by Stormbreaker or fear of losing a brother.

"I will not let you fall again." Thor said firmly. Then he let go.

Loki watched in terror as Thor approached the edge. He tried standing up so he could stop him, but the second he put weight on his injured leg the pain brought him back to the ground. No, it wasn't supposed to end like this. Thor was supposed to live. It should be him. It should be him!

"You can't leave me!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. It must be the despair in his voice that stopped Thor dead in his tracks. Thor still had his back toward him, but he did stop, just one step away from falling.

Loki's chest heaved, never felt so hopeless and lost, words kept pouring out his mouth, "I don't have anyone else. You - you're all I have. You're my only friend, and without you I - I can't do this!"

"Loki..." Thor still wouldn't look back.

"You know it, Thor. You know it. You know if you died, I died. What allies am I supposed to find if not you? Who would want to be friend with someone like me? You still have someone else, your other friends, the Avengers. You have your purpose to live. They need you, not me. I'd just be casted back to that dark place and I can't, I can't go back there. I'd rather be dead than being a victim of my mind again. You're simply killing me-"

A hit to the head, hard enough to knock Loki out cold, stop his rambling. The last thing Loki saw before darkness consumed was Thor looking at him with tears running down his face. The axe still in his hand, Loki thought he saw red on the knob of the handle where it just made contact with his temple. He didn't have enough time to decide if it was his blood as consciousness slipped away.

______________________________ 

Loki woke up with terrible headache and throbbing pain in his knee. He groaned, trying to recall what the hell happened. Moment later his eyes shot open when it hit; Thor!

When he jumped on his feet the pain shot through his every vein it made him cry, bringing him down though he never hit the ground. Two strong hands grabbed him in time, they were guiding him back to the bed (bed; apparently Loki was laying on a bed in a clean room, not on the floor on Vormir) and Loki was fighting, trying to get out and run even though he wouldn't know where to go, even though he couldn't even stand. Thor could be dead. Thor could be dead, and he wasn't going to lay down. Loki blindly scratched at whoever it was till his wrists got caught in tight grips.

"Let me go. Let me go!"

"Loki, enough!" A voice said.

Loki was being pinned down to the mattress, that strong grip hadn't left his wrists, and it was until now that his brain could process and he realised the voice did sound a whole lot familiar. It was, indeed, familiar enough to get him to stop squirming, and when he looked, Thor was looking down at him. Thor was alive.

When their eyes locked Thor made a face that said 'will you lash out if I let go?' and when Loki seemed to really cool down Thor freed his wrists. "You need to stay in bed. At least until the next couple weeks, until the wound heals." Thor was looking away now. Loki couldn't tell if his brother was angry. Loki had always been able to tell how Thor was feeling, apparent not this time.

"What... happened?" He asked carefully, and Thor ran a hand down his face, face still turning the other way, his eyes carried out the window. "Answer me," Loki hissed, as much as he was relived his brother was still alive this didn't feel right.

"I didn't do it." Thor shrugged slightly.

"You didn't do...."

"I didn't jump. I was - I was about to, but then, but then I couldn't. I couldn't leave you." Thor slowly turned around to look at Loki, eyes bloodshot, this time Loki was sure there was anger in his eyes, like he blamed Loki for being the reason he didn't jump. Like it was Loki's fault.

Loki was struck mute.

Thor didn't say it, but the look on his face asked, 'you happy now?' and Loki gulped. He knew this could only mean one thing.

"Thanos... did he....?"

When the question was asked Thor looked away again. It didn't make Loki feel any better.

"Answer me."

"Don't."

"Answer me!"

"Loki-"

"Just tell me!"

"He won. All right? He got all the Stones and killed half the galaxy. He won. He won because I didn't jump. I didn't jump because I couldn't' leave you!" Thor snapped his face toward Loki. The sudden outburst caught Loki off guard. Suddenly Loki grew tense, tears started welling in his eyes, and just the second Thor started to regret losing his temper, Loki broke down.

"It should've been me! You should've let me jump. You should've let me jump! It was supposed to be me. It was supposed to be me!" He was yelling, crying, hands in tight fists kept hitting Thor again and again even though Thor looked like he barely felt the impact.

Thor just waited. He waited till Loki calmed down and when Loki calmed down he let him bury his face in the crook of his neck and cry. Like a child all over again.

Thor ran a hand through Loki's hair, the other wrapped firmly around his back.

"It's not your fault." Thor said eventually, his voice soft, 'Not your fault. I didn't jump. I couldn't leave you, nothing about this is your fault"

Thor listened to Loki's labored breathing, him fighting back tears, until, slowly, Loki began to relax under the touch and just let his eyes drift close. Though Thor didn't let him go. Just kept hugging him like in the good old days when they were children without a care in the world.

Thor knew it couldn't be comfort, knew Loki somehow blamed himself, but deep down, no matter how hard Thor tried to bury the feeling as deep as he could, he knew he was being so selfish because, even after the snap and half the galaxy gone, he was so damn glad it didn't take his brother away.

At least they were together.

**Author's Note:**

> If you folks want more of me, I am also available on [Tumblr.](http://bebx.tumblr.com/) Come chat. The inbox is open there.


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